Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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