Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
