Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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