rhymes with "ouble enetration"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
