i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Randomize
