where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
