all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
