3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
