he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
