I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
