Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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