Just cropdusted the office
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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