Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
