he wants to bone in the snuggie
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
