they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
