Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize