"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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