Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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