Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize