my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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