Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
