just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
