No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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