we're chasing vodka with high fives
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
