doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
