Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.

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(516): View more from New York

How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"

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(404): View more from Georgia

Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably

(1-404): View more from Georgia

No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.

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(714): View more from California

Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.

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(845): View more from New York

He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.

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(802): View more from Vermont

When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.

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