You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
