maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
