I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
