I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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