I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
