Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
