who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
