i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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