Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Randomize
