I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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