I'm drive I can fine osifer
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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