There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
