sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
