Can i not drive my cunt home
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
