just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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