Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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