Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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