The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
