Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize