whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
