Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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