Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize