u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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