You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
