I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize