So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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