I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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