HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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