I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I love you. Go after that dick
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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