...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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