Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
