I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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