It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
