he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
