"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
