Non-Jews are for practice
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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