Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
