my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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