all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
