i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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