I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
