I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
